Kindling
If you’ve ever read my column you know that Steve and I are not exactly on the cutting edge of any envelope. In fact we don’t even own an envelope. We’ve only had cable for a couple of years and neither one of us has ever twittered or tweeted or face-booked or i-phoned. I’ve only seen an i-pad from a hazy distance and wouldn’t recognize an app if it walked up and kissed me on the mouth. For a brief and shining moment I did own a GPS system but then ended up giving it to Mariel who needed it more than I did. So when I read about the first e-book readers I was surprised at the feeling that overwhelmed me—lust. I wanted one in the worst way.
I couldn’t figure it out. I’m a paper book lady. I love their feel, smell, color-- everything tactile about them. There was a time when we owned so many books that our entire house was filled with them. When the kids came along we even joined a kids’ book club, getting three books in the mail every month. Finally, with our shelves on the verge of collapsing, we came to our senses and turned to our favorite library instead.
A few months ago when I read about the headmaster who transformed his prep school library into a vast computerland I wanted to beat him senseless with an Oxford Dictionary (unabridged). How could someone reduce an entire literary world to a few machines? When I calmed down I realized that what I really wanted was a world where old and new could co-exist peacefully without having the new completely replace the old. Why does there always have to be an either-or? Can’t there be both? Am I being naive?
Still, I felt like Benedict Arnold and Judas wrapped into one as I longed for that e-reader. There was something so seductive about being able to carry around hundreds of books in a slim piece of plastic that was the ultimate shiny apple in the garden. However when I did a little research and saw the price tag I quickly decided that I no longer wanted it—much.
A few weeks ago I began my usual to-do list before heading off to Israel in July. When I wrote, “buy books” I stopped short. For over 30 years now, whenever I visited, I took enough books to keep me busy for three to four weeks. It was the only time that I would allow myself to head to the bookstore and buy tons of books. I never minded the expense because I always knew that I could leave them for mom to read when I left. But now I realized that I couldn’t leave the books, since mom was coming back with me. So not only would I have to spend my usual bucks and fill an entire suitcase full of heavy volumes, but I would have to drag them back as well. This made no sense.
Though the library in my mom’s town is beautiful it only carries Hebrew books. And because it’s not a tourist town, most of the books in the stores are in Hebrew as well. So somehow I had to figure out a way to bring enough reading material without having to drag it all back. That’s when it hit me—the Kindle. At first I thought it wouldn’t work internationally, but after some research I saw that Israel was part of their network and the reader could be used on their current as well. I could take as many books as I wanted and barely feel the heft of them on my shoulder. I couldn’t believe how excited I was.
So jumping up and down I placed an order, then counted the days till it came. Last week Shatz sent me an e-mail at work telling me it had arrived. When I got home I grabbed the package and ripped it open. And there it was--my own slim, white, plastic library sitting in a cardboard box with a note on the cover that said, “Once upon a time………”
I spent that night reading directions and downloading books. I decided to use it for the first time on the train to work the next morning. Idiot that I am I was actually almost too excited to go to sleep. I felt like a kid.
The next morning I waited impatiently at the platform for the train, then ran to a seat. I settled in, got out my glasses and took out my Kindle. Before opening it, I took a deep breath and opened my new toy. And there, written on the screen, was a touching little note telling me that I couldn’t read a thing because my book was out of juice---I needed to recharge the reader. So there I was, finally on the cusp, and no cigar. That would teach me to lust after technology.
But all’s well that ends well. It turned out that it was all my fault since I had inadvertently left the reader connected to the wireless overnight and that had caused the battery to run down. I have since recharged, and tried it out and it is wonderfully easy. So for at least one heady nano-second I will, for once, be a cool person with a piece of advanced technology. Unless I forget to recharge!
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Designing Woman
Designing Woman
It all began when Steve and I saw the studio apartment that would be mom’s home. We had already been concerned that she would feel that it was too small after having lived in an apartment. So when we saw a studio that belonged to a lady who liked stuff, (There were things crammed in every corner and all of it on doilies), we gave each other a glance that said, “Oh God. This is definitely a bad idea.”
Mary, who had been showing us around, caught the glance and quickly said, “Let me see if I can get you into another apartment that’s a little less, um, cluttered.”
Luckily she did because this lady had a good sense of what should be included in a living space. We heaved a sigh of relief when we saw that mom could definitely be comfortable living there.
Mary gave us a floor plan so we could begin planning the space. My mom and I are so much alike. Neither one of us can stand clutter. We prefer clean lines and room to breathe. Steve and I set out to create an apartment that would have everything that she would need, including empty space. Large furniture was out of the question. We needed scaled down pieces that would fit a compact space. It reminded me so much of when we moved into our first apartment after we were married.
We had all the basics: a small bedroom and living room with a kitchen so tiny that you had to leave if you wanted to change your mind. We both liked colonial style furniture so we hunted for weeks through stores that equated colonial with huge, until we found one store that sold furniture that would fit our apartment. We spent weeks measuring and poring over their showroom until we designed the perfect place. Here we were doing the same thing again. We both loved the challenge. It was like finding all the puzzle pieces and piecing them together till they fit.
We visited furniture stores, looked through catalogues, drew lines on our floor plan, erased them and drew others. Finally we saw that IKEA was the store that had what we needed so we toured it again and again, matching all the pieces together. And then we returned to mom’s place with Mariel as a third pair of eyes.
The three of us spent hours measuring, discussing, imagining. It was all coming together pretty well except for one desk so we trekked back to the store. The twentieth time was the charm. We finally found it so we bought it all and had it shipped. But the hardest part was yet to come. Steve had to put it all together. I was useless at that task so, shopper extraordinaire that I am, my job was to shop.
It’s been over thirty years since I completely furnished a home and let me tell you it’s a blast. Since I’m constantly looking at my house wishing that I could redesign it from scratch, being able to do it for my mom was the next best thing. And the pleasure of it all is that it feels like a gift that I’m offering her. I hope that she has as much fun living with it as I had designing it.
Since we furnished our first home home, my tastes have changed. I’ve come to appreciate the clean lines of modern and Shaker furniture. My color tastes have changed as well. Whereas my entire house is a sketch in rose and French blue, I’ve come to love a brighter palette of lime greens, soft yellows and even pale oranges and blues. Luckily for me I was shopping for mom in the spring and those were the colors that the stores were featuring.
You tend to forget all the things you need when you’re setting up a home. Steve and I made a list and taped it to the refrigerator so that we could add to it whenever we thought of something else. The big things are easy, but it’s the little ones that drive you crazy. The cutting boards, tea kettles, bread knives and can openers. And what about dish towels and a dish rack, a potato peeler and a cutlery tray? Our list ballooned and the few week-ends that I had envisioned steadily grew to take over a couple of months. It’s amazing the silly things you can’t find no matter where you look. My current nemesis is a napkin holder. Steve is a firm believer in buying on-line but I refuse to pay shipping costs for a napkin holder!
Last Saturday I started out at 10:00 and drooped home at 4:00. Steve took one look at me and the packed car and shook his head. I just looked at him and said the words I never thought I would ever hear myself say, “Shatz, I am completely shopped out! I couldn’t buy another thing!”
But it’s been fun and so very satisfying. Mom’s place is airy, roomy, colorful and welcoming. Steve and I should start a company designing small spaces on a budget. And it will all be worth it just to see mom’s face when she sees her new home. And if she doesn’t like it, well, I’ve rested up--I could force myself to go shopping again!
It all began when Steve and I saw the studio apartment that would be mom’s home. We had already been concerned that she would feel that it was too small after having lived in an apartment. So when we saw a studio that belonged to a lady who liked stuff, (There were things crammed in every corner and all of it on doilies), we gave each other a glance that said, “Oh God. This is definitely a bad idea.”
Mary, who had been showing us around, caught the glance and quickly said, “Let me see if I can get you into another apartment that’s a little less, um, cluttered.”
Luckily she did because this lady had a good sense of what should be included in a living space. We heaved a sigh of relief when we saw that mom could definitely be comfortable living there.
Mary gave us a floor plan so we could begin planning the space. My mom and I are so much alike. Neither one of us can stand clutter. We prefer clean lines and room to breathe. Steve and I set out to create an apartment that would have everything that she would need, including empty space. Large furniture was out of the question. We needed scaled down pieces that would fit a compact space. It reminded me so much of when we moved into our first apartment after we were married.
We had all the basics: a small bedroom and living room with a kitchen so tiny that you had to leave if you wanted to change your mind. We both liked colonial style furniture so we hunted for weeks through stores that equated colonial with huge, until we found one store that sold furniture that would fit our apartment. We spent weeks measuring and poring over their showroom until we designed the perfect place. Here we were doing the same thing again. We both loved the challenge. It was like finding all the puzzle pieces and piecing them together till they fit.
We visited furniture stores, looked through catalogues, drew lines on our floor plan, erased them and drew others. Finally we saw that IKEA was the store that had what we needed so we toured it again and again, matching all the pieces together. And then we returned to mom’s place with Mariel as a third pair of eyes.
The three of us spent hours measuring, discussing, imagining. It was all coming together pretty well except for one desk so we trekked back to the store. The twentieth time was the charm. We finally found it so we bought it all and had it shipped. But the hardest part was yet to come. Steve had to put it all together. I was useless at that task so, shopper extraordinaire that I am, my job was to shop.
It’s been over thirty years since I completely furnished a home and let me tell you it’s a blast. Since I’m constantly looking at my house wishing that I could redesign it from scratch, being able to do it for my mom was the next best thing. And the pleasure of it all is that it feels like a gift that I’m offering her. I hope that she has as much fun living with it as I had designing it.
Since we furnished our first home home, my tastes have changed. I’ve come to appreciate the clean lines of modern and Shaker furniture. My color tastes have changed as well. Whereas my entire house is a sketch in rose and French blue, I’ve come to love a brighter palette of lime greens, soft yellows and even pale oranges and blues. Luckily for me I was shopping for mom in the spring and those were the colors that the stores were featuring.
You tend to forget all the things you need when you’re setting up a home. Steve and I made a list and taped it to the refrigerator so that we could add to it whenever we thought of something else. The big things are easy, but it’s the little ones that drive you crazy. The cutting boards, tea kettles, bread knives and can openers. And what about dish towels and a dish rack, a potato peeler and a cutlery tray? Our list ballooned and the few week-ends that I had envisioned steadily grew to take over a couple of months. It’s amazing the silly things you can’t find no matter where you look. My current nemesis is a napkin holder. Steve is a firm believer in buying on-line but I refuse to pay shipping costs for a napkin holder!
Last Saturday I started out at 10:00 and drooped home at 4:00. Steve took one look at me and the packed car and shook his head. I just looked at him and said the words I never thought I would ever hear myself say, “Shatz, I am completely shopped out! I couldn’t buy another thing!”
But it’s been fun and so very satisfying. Mom’s place is airy, roomy, colorful and welcoming. Steve and I should start a company designing small spaces on a budget. And it will all be worth it just to see mom’s face when she sees her new home. And if she doesn’t like it, well, I’ve rested up--I could force myself to go shopping again!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
June is Busting Out All Over
June is Busting Out All Over
Dedicated to Shirley B. who missed
My column last week—I’m still here!
June is my favorite month of the year. It’s just so very June. You can put away your ice-scraper without fear of a surprise squall, lock up your mittens, store your bulky sweaters. In June the summer hasn’t formally started so it’s still there in front of you to dream about. You can leave the windows open all night and not feel like a popsicle in the morning. In June the sun rises early and so do the birds and they make a much better alarm clock than your alarm clock. It gets dark so late that you feel like you have a bit of a holiday each day after work. And best of all, school is over no matter how old you are. June is delicious.
On one of my many web journeys I found that I am not the only person in the world who thinks June is special. There are scores of groups who think it is such a great month that they have sponsored days, weeks and even the entire month in honor of their cause. Some are quite serious, but others are a bit, shall we say, loony? Let me share a few and you can decide for yourself.
June is:
Potty Training Awareness month. Who exactly is being made aware of this? Not the parents who are desperately trying to get their youngsters to go in the big boy/girl toilet. Last time I checked, potty training is usually between a parent and their kid and they’re already pretty aware of what’s going on so who else needs to be aware? Friends? Relatives? The free world? I guess if the kid has a Facebook page he could announce that he’s in the process of said training and is going to do a ceremonial flush in honor of this hallowed month.
Rebuild Your Life Month. Imagine it only takes a month to rebuild your entire life. I guess we should be thankful that it’s not just a day. How does one go about honoring this goal? Do you simply wake up, and upon seeing that it’s June 1st declare, “I’m going to rebuild my life this month and nobody is going to stop me!” Just seems odd to me.
National Accordion Awareness Month. I know I’m probably going to get outraged phone calls and e-mails for saying this, but do we really need to be made more aware of accordion music? Doesn’t it sort of shout itself out to the world already? Last time I checked there was nothing subtle about an accordion or the music it produces…now if it were national polka month I might understand.
National Bathroom Reading Month. What’s so great about this is that there is a link that you can click on to get a list of the “10 loo-brary books” for this month. The two that stand out are, “Confessions of a Tabloid Writer” and “Everyone Poops”. (That last one can probably be used during Potty Training Awareness Month as well.) Now I know that I’m often not the sharpest tool in the shed, but why do we need to be made aware of this? And for an entire month? Most women who are living with a significant other of the male persuasion are already quite aware that their partners are taking magazines and encyclopedias into the bathroom on a regular basis. Now I could maybe see the need for, Everybody Poops Month (and it already has a book!)
Fish Are Friends Not Food Week. Oka-a-a-ay. I guess I could take a fish to lunch, but think how awkward the ordering would be: “Waiter I’ll have the halibut, oh God I didn’t mean you Fred, I meant another halibut….. You know some of my best friends are halibuts.”
Take Your Dog to Work Day, 25th. Yes! I am so definitely shlepping Snoopy into work with me. It’s about time that lazy good for nothing animal learned how hard his mommy works to provide him with treats. Let him be more grateful for the working hours that are needed to pay for his daily chicken! Of course knowing how restless the Snoopster can be I’ll probably have to observe, National Leave Work Early Day (2nd) but nonetheless this day is only surpassed by,
Please Take My Children to Work Day, 28th. Is this a Henny Youngman punch line? You’re begging someone to take your kids off your hands and into their workplace? So they can see how hard a total stranger works? Someone please explain this to me.
Stupid Guy Thing Day, 22nd. Only one day? You’d need a lifetime to list, explain and laugh hysterically at all the stuff that would arise from observing this holiday including the fact that it was probably a guy who sponsored it. Oh where do we begin?????
World Handshake Day, 21st, Do not confuse with National Handshake Day which has a different sponsor for the 24th. This is such an important holiday that we need two different organizations and sponsors and two different days. Get your hands ready folks.
And a holiday that should be observed with champagne, roses, chocolate and a huge bonus:
National Columnists Day, 22nd. Finally some recognition for all the brilliant ideas we overworked columnists come up with and the paper that we waste in their execution. Isn’t June great?
Dedicated to Shirley B. who missed
My column last week—I’m still here!
June is my favorite month of the year. It’s just so very June. You can put away your ice-scraper without fear of a surprise squall, lock up your mittens, store your bulky sweaters. In June the summer hasn’t formally started so it’s still there in front of you to dream about. You can leave the windows open all night and not feel like a popsicle in the morning. In June the sun rises early and so do the birds and they make a much better alarm clock than your alarm clock. It gets dark so late that you feel like you have a bit of a holiday each day after work. And best of all, school is over no matter how old you are. June is delicious.
On one of my many web journeys I found that I am not the only person in the world who thinks June is special. There are scores of groups who think it is such a great month that they have sponsored days, weeks and even the entire month in honor of their cause. Some are quite serious, but others are a bit, shall we say, loony? Let me share a few and you can decide for yourself.
June is:
Potty Training Awareness month. Who exactly is being made aware of this? Not the parents who are desperately trying to get their youngsters to go in the big boy/girl toilet. Last time I checked, potty training is usually between a parent and their kid and they’re already pretty aware of what’s going on so who else needs to be aware? Friends? Relatives? The free world? I guess if the kid has a Facebook page he could announce that he’s in the process of said training and is going to do a ceremonial flush in honor of this hallowed month.
Rebuild Your Life Month. Imagine it only takes a month to rebuild your entire life. I guess we should be thankful that it’s not just a day. How does one go about honoring this goal? Do you simply wake up, and upon seeing that it’s June 1st declare, “I’m going to rebuild my life this month and nobody is going to stop me!” Just seems odd to me.
National Accordion Awareness Month. I know I’m probably going to get outraged phone calls and e-mails for saying this, but do we really need to be made more aware of accordion music? Doesn’t it sort of shout itself out to the world already? Last time I checked there was nothing subtle about an accordion or the music it produces…now if it were national polka month I might understand.
National Bathroom Reading Month. What’s so great about this is that there is a link that you can click on to get a list of the “10 loo-brary books” for this month. The two that stand out are, “Confessions of a Tabloid Writer” and “Everyone Poops”. (That last one can probably be used during Potty Training Awareness Month as well.) Now I know that I’m often not the sharpest tool in the shed, but why do we need to be made aware of this? And for an entire month? Most women who are living with a significant other of the male persuasion are already quite aware that their partners are taking magazines and encyclopedias into the bathroom on a regular basis. Now I could maybe see the need for, Everybody Poops Month (and it already has a book!)
Fish Are Friends Not Food Week. Oka-a-a-ay. I guess I could take a fish to lunch, but think how awkward the ordering would be: “Waiter I’ll have the halibut, oh God I didn’t mean you Fred, I meant another halibut….. You know some of my best friends are halibuts.”
Take Your Dog to Work Day, 25th. Yes! I am so definitely shlepping Snoopy into work with me. It’s about time that lazy good for nothing animal learned how hard his mommy works to provide him with treats. Let him be more grateful for the working hours that are needed to pay for his daily chicken! Of course knowing how restless the Snoopster can be I’ll probably have to observe, National Leave Work Early Day (2nd) but nonetheless this day is only surpassed by,
Please Take My Children to Work Day, 28th. Is this a Henny Youngman punch line? You’re begging someone to take your kids off your hands and into their workplace? So they can see how hard a total stranger works? Someone please explain this to me.
Stupid Guy Thing Day, 22nd. Only one day? You’d need a lifetime to list, explain and laugh hysterically at all the stuff that would arise from observing this holiday including the fact that it was probably a guy who sponsored it. Oh where do we begin?????
World Handshake Day, 21st, Do not confuse with National Handshake Day which has a different sponsor for the 24th. This is such an important holiday that we need two different organizations and sponsors and two different days. Get your hands ready folks.
And a holiday that should be observed with champagne, roses, chocolate and a huge bonus:
National Columnists Day, 22nd. Finally some recognition for all the brilliant ideas we overworked columnists come up with and the paper that we waste in their execution. Isn’t June great?
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