Great Expectations

Great Expectations

Mariel was graduating from UMass Amherst and I was expecting it to be unforgettable. Having finally accepted the fact that my baby had finished college, I was planning the logistics of the day. In true Schottenfeld form we had neglected to make hotel reservations early enough and so it was going to be a day trip. I thought I would at least make dinner reservations for us but the reservation gods were not smiling on us. Then I had an inspiration—I would order sandwiches and salads from our favorite neighborhood store and bring the entire celebratory lunch up in a cooler.

I was feeling proud of myself until Mariel handed us an invitation to UMass’s Commonwealth College graduation. Commonwealth, or CommColl as everyone calls it, was created ten years ago as a separate honors school in the University that offered its students intense courses, personal advisors and even separate housing. Now I learned that it was also holding a separate graduation. CommColl’s ceremonies would start at 9:00 and end at about 10:30. That meant that we would have to leave the house at 6:00 a.m. to get there in time to park and get a decent seat. So who needed sleep anyway?

Commencement for the entire school started at 12:30. That meant we would have at least two hours between ceremonies, which seemed fine at the time. But later on when we read Mariel’s instruction packet we learned that the graduates had to be at the football stadium at 11:30, so we were down to one hour. What about eating? The packet went on to explain that there would be food available everywhere, so not to worry. And for once I didn’t.

The weather forecast was for a cool, cloudy day with possible showers. So I decided to wear a pants suit and take umbrellas. We left the house and set off to watch our baby graduate. We got there in plenty of time to park and settle into the seats that Lisa and Mariel’s boyfriend, Dan had saved for us. Sitting comfortably in my soft seat I looked around at the Mullins Center and thought how perfect everything looked—there were flowers beneath the stage, banners hanging from the rafters—it was truly lovely. Exactly what a graduation should look like.

And then the CommColl graduates came marching in, grouped in their schools, behind students carrying large banners. We saw Mariel and did the usual loud family wave and shout. We listened to the speakers talk about the college and our brilliant children and when the president told them to stand, face their parents and give them a round of applause, I could feel my eyes become wet.

And then we waited for Mariel’s school to be called and waited again for her name and when we finally heard it and saw her walk up to get her gold CommColl tassel, we yelled and screamed and completely embarrassed her and ourselves. And when I sat down I could feel tears but I didn’t care. This is what graduations are about: Pride, happiness and bittersweet memories.

And then the day took a nosedive. Mariel had to sprint over to the football field to be there by 11:30 and we had to find something to eat. The day had turned sunny and warm and my pants suit was suddenly not such a great idea, especially after we decided to walk to the stadium instead of getting on a packed shuttle bus. When we finally got there we were all starving so we looked around for all the promised food vendors. All we saw were kiosks selling hotdogs, greasy pizza, muffins and soda. I plunked down $17.00 for a pathetic snack.

The ceremony was supposed to start at 12:30 so at 11:45 we walked over to the stadium. We entered one of the doors and stopped. The place was packed. Standing there with the sun beating down on my head I felt faint. There was absolutely no place left to sit in that huge coliseum. We looked at each other wondering what to do. But there wasn’t anything we could do except leave. When we were outside Dan told us that he was going back in. He thought that he might be able to find a single seat. “Great!” I told him. “At least one of us should be in there to watch Mariel officially graduate.

Steve, Lisa and I trudged across the street and plopped down under a tree. I couldn’t believe that we weren’t inside. As we sat we saw bus after bus packed with people still arriving. I had no idea how those people were going to get in. Afterwards Dan told us that they put out folding chairs. The only problem was that he couldn’t see a thing, so he dozed.

When Mariel came out I apologized like a mad woman, but she hugged me and laughed. “You just missed a bunch of boring speeches,” she said. I knew she was right and I knew that we had had our graduation earlier that morning but somehow I still felt cheated.

Later that week, Mariel sent us a link to the UMass graduation site. Out of the 7,000 students at commencement the photographer had snapped a photo of her about to move the tassel on her cap. What are the odds? Somehow that photo made up for my disappointment. There she was--my girl, smiling, beautiful and graduated.